So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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