Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
