Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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