rhymes with "ouble enetration"
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I will be naked everywhere
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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