Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
My ATM looks so different sober.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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