nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
