did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
