Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
