I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
