Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
where am i from again
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
