Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
