it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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