Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
