he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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