I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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