Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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