'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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