i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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