I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Dicks are not precious.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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