Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
