How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
