You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
