Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
