he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I can't trust your balls anymore.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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