dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
