I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Randomize
