Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
