I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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