I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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