Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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