Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
