Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
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