Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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