i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
