First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
