Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize