I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
