I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
