The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
