I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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