good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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