So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
