he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
