Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
where are you?
Hypothermia
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
