On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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