Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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