After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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