genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
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