Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Are we still banned from the library?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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