this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
