we're blogging at a bar
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
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