I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
