i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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