I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
then he tried to convert me to islam
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
