i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
