waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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