I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
