I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
