I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
