Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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