a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
