i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
