I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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