thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
