wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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