Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
