Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
