thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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