dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
