Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I have fence marks all over my body
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
