i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
