I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize